imagesSo, went to see The Lone Ranger almost entirely at the behest of the Book God who had been quite keen on it after being exposed to the trailer the last couple of times we had been at the cinema. I will admit to being a bit nervous; it looked very much like the boy Depp was doing his usual and I had heard that it was a bit of a mess but there was the involvement of Helena Bonham-Carter, of whom I am most fond. So I was persuaded, and we went along on a fairly dead Sunday afternoon.

It was one of my more interesting cinema-going experiences but that had almost nothing to do with the film itself. Let’s just say there was a young couple who didn’t stop talking at normal voice level for the whole film, when they weren’t noisily snogging that is. One of the other audience members went to have a “quiet word” and as she moved back to her seat they threw popcorn at her; she had to hold her boyfriend back from starting a punch up. Cinema staff popped in and out and it was all very entertaining and distracting. At times more so than the film.

Which is a bit harsh. It wasn’t that bad. It just gave the impression that somewhere within the 149 minutes there was a shorter and possibly quite excellent western cunningly hidden. However. To lift from a Facebook mini-review I did for a couple of friends:

Confused. Rambling. Far too long. Depp mugging outrageously, got old very quickly. Some of the humour misplaced. Insufficient Helena Bonham-Carter in my view.

And I really mean that about HB-C, she was by far the best thing in it by a country mile but only appears in a couple of very brief sightings, not more than 10 minutes in total (if even that). Makes a lot of what she is given though. And Ruth Wilson is lovely and although she is yet another character in the now annoyingly prevalent woman kidnapped to incite the hero scenario, this version has a wee bit of a proper story to it so makes more sense than usual.

The effects are pretty good and the villains nicely villainous  but it just doesn’t work the way it should. And it has two climaxes which is always irritating, you think you’ve had the big set piece and then they have to crank it all up again which is frankly just exhausting. Old Tonto with small boy was quite a nice framing device but Depp’s performance in those segments just showed up how disappointing he was in the rest of the picture.

So not the worst film I’ve ever seen but very much a missed opportunity. Sad really.